Another big life transition. Another bout of insecurity. Another chance to grow. And maybe another chance to get back into blogging ;o)
I gave up teaching and said goodbye to my compatriots at the high school I taught at from 2020-2024 back in May. I made it to the end of the school year after going back to part-time partway through the last quarter. Part of me wonders if I could've held on longer staying part-time, but I'm not sure that's what I really wanted. I quit because of my mental health and even when I was part-time I struggled to be alright.
It wasn't just the stress and angst of teaching, it was feeling like I wasn't doing right by it all. Imposter syndrome plagued me the entire time I think, but I also felt like I wasn't applying myself. Somehow I cared too much and too little all at once. It sucked at my soul.
I've stayed in touch with my closest teacher friends, but as the school year creeps near I wonder what it'll be like as that classroom and those people become less and less colorful in my mind. I'm starting a new gig soon and it's not something I'm terribly excited or proud of, but it's NOT teaching and I'm glad for that.
Will I be able to cope better with this job? Will I be able to find satisfaction in my work and feel like I contribute? Can I handle a commute longer than 7-1/2 minutes?! Ack! I don't know and I just have to try.
The whole transition away from teaching has stirred up big questions for me. Last November through March I did a bootcamp and earned a certificate in UX design. Now, I've lost momentum pursuing that field. It's competitive. It's a field where you have to stay hip to the jive, and let's face it, I'm a person that actually says "hip to the jive" and remains consistently behind the times. I'm just not sure it fits me as a person. I don't mind being something of a luddite and tech dunce. Give me a physical book any day and I will take notes for you with a pen and paper all day long. It appealed to my creative side and my helpful nature and I loved learning all about the process, but I am not convinced I can succeed there and be healthy there.
So where do I belong? I want to thrive and not feel like I'm barely surviving (a la the teaching life) and I'm wondering about my limitations and expectations. It feels like a re-evaluation is in order... of myself and what I want from this life.
It's a tall order... and possibly another post entirely.
Good to hear from you, Hannah. I had to look up what a UX designer was and I think you would be good at it. It also sounds like, at least in part, that it could be done at home. There are many benefits to that. Looking forward to seeing where this next phase takes you. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteGood to hear from you all as well :o) Thanks for being here!
ReplyDelete