A Wonderful Visit, A Good Day

So often I use my "Family" tag to categorize something troublesome but today I get to add something positive....

For today's visit my hubs and Baby Bananaface brought along my mother-in-law and for the first time in a long time (since I've been feeling low) I was able to really connect with her and we shared some wonderful moments. She was so supportive. Actively supportive in a way that was strange and fabulous to me. Asking me about my meds and how things are going and the food I'm eating and what I'm doing and actually listening. She said that she thinks I'm doing a great thing and even sweet nothings like "things are gonna get better" and putting an arm around me... just so wonderful.

Even without those gems it was a good visit. I got to nurse B.B. and he even fell asleep in my arms for the first time all week. It felt so nice to be reassured that I can still mother him like I used to and I wasn't overwhelmed as I have been in previous visits. I also felt connected to hubs, synced up again, even a little flame. We kissed and hugged more than we have all week. It's funny how those pathways shut down in times of stress almost without noticing...

Today was good as far as groups and socializing around the unit as well. There are a couple of people here that are very... guarded? deluded? emotionally ignorant? divorced from their feelings? They approach everything in a very controlling, almost aggressive way instead of trying to understand, accept, and accommodate their feelings. It is very frustrating for me but I understand that they are on their own journeys.

I enjoyed groups and while some of the time I was light-headed from anxiety or meds I felt better overall. I did have some chest tightness come up during a video on acceptance and I think I really need to put in some hard work toward accepting my sister's pregnancy. She is just about 7 months in after all. Jeesh. I can't believe I am still refusing to accept that... Anyways.

I've really been fascinated with the groups presented on nonviolent communication and am very interested in delving further into that topic. I think it would be very useful for me and my little family to help facilitate the changes we want to make happen for ourselves.

I achieved all the goals I set for myself except working on a schedule for when I return home. So I may putter around some ideas on that before bed tonight... But overall, a good day.

Oh, and I started a swan painting. We shall see how it turns out. I am thinking of giving it to a unit peep but undecided. I think I will know to whom it belongs once I finish it.

Note: I must see the movie "Inside Out."

Subnote: Journeys is a weird ass word as far as spelling. Can't even count how many times I've typed "journies." Pfffft.

Forecast: Cranky

Another shitty day in Hannahland. I'm exhausted and not catching up enough on sleep this weekend despite two naps yesterday. And on a late night brownies related note, my period is kicking my ass again. Woke up yesterday feeling like my cervix had whiplash. So that doesn't help.

Today I couldn't sleep in, bottomed out with dark thoughts mid-morning and scratched my fingernails up and down my left arm to soothe myself into a very low but somewhat functioning level for a shower around 1 pm. We are hoping to get out of the house and pick up my thyroid meds along with a few groceries.

I am not really caring about much at this point but I did manage to get a few pictures taken as requested. As usual, B.B. doesn't disappoint!

Fair warning, my earring "action shots" are rather odd but the fused glass earrings I got are studs (due to anticipated baby interference) and rather difficult to capture in a selfie I discovered.

I've been told I have small ear lobes so I was a little worried about how they would fit, but they are just the right size and quite flashy. Leave it to the hubs! I was eyeing much more subdued pairs, but he sees the brighter more audacious side of me that is so often subdued. Not that these are "risky" but certainly more colorful than I usually wear!