Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Recently Read: The Depression Cure

Got around to reading the book "The Depression Cure" by Stephen Ilardi a few weeks back and just haven't gotten around to blogging about it. 

I think the delay may have to do with the fact that the book doesn't make a big splash. It's common sense with some science and anecdotes and mainly one giant affirmation of what I already believe, that lifestyle has a major impact on depression. 

For over a year now I've been slowly distancing myself from traditional forms of treatment for depression, leaving behind medications and psychiatric treatment and even minimizing naturopathic visits in lieu of lifestyle changes and focusing on living instead of living to treat a disease. It hasn't been a cakewalk but I have felt much better than recent years when I became far too enveloped in disease, treatment, and symptoms. Sometimes, just moving on a bit helps more than trying so hard!

I have found that the naturopathic approach has been the most helpful but the intensity of treatments a bit overwhelming. I appreciated Ilardi's simplifying approach to adding Vitamin D and fish oil supplements little by little as opposed to a heaping pile of supplements "that may help" a wide array of symptoms. I've found that many of my sub-symptoms have been cleared up by addressing the larger issues, and circumventing the overwhelming supplementation helps maintain morale.

So while I can't recommend "The Depression Cure" as a groundbreaking work I can say that it represents that most effective treatment I've yet tried and the closest representation of my treatment goals. It's an easy read and it's really simple but the results are undeniable. 

I have to admit I'm feeling a bit huffy as I write this thinking of all the years of reading and pills and supplements and exercise and therapy and appointments yet finding myself using such simple means to feel better lately. It reminds me of the anger I feel watching advertisements that lead people to make poor life choices or looking at poorly made "food" on shelves at markets and thinking of all the sick people unwittingly making themselves worse. 

I have to remember that we're only human and that sometimes it takes a while to learn a lesson. It's taken me quite a while to reach a place where I respect my body and mind's limitations and aim to live within those limitations and improve my outcomes. 

Even more important is remembering that each day is a new beginning and giving myself the space to fail and try again as many times as I need. Sometimes with depression it takes a lot of "restarts" before you can get anywhere, it's not a personal failure it's just part of the struggle.

Just keep trying.



Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Rough Seas

Yesterday (especially last night) was rough for me. My mood slipped downward despite exercise and chores and I noticed a shift in my mental patterns toward some nasty habits.

The nasty habits I refer to are comparison and shame. Facebook seems to prey on these weaknesses! A bevy of false advertising and professional photography that I really believe is meant to incite jealousy catches me in my weakened mental state and plunges me deeper into shame.

As I feed the negativity I then want to divorce myself from all my perceived shame; memories, photos, and even wishing I could vanish from others' memories-as if they recall all of my most embarrassing moments. It's a sort of twisted vanity born from my depressive brain believing that my life is worse than anyone else's.

It's the hallmark of many of my worst episodes, the early stages of losing faith in my worth completely and the first step down a long, dark path toward suicidal thoughts and desperation. Hopefully recognizing the thoughts and trying harder to avoid this downward spiral will prevent a full blown episode!

And in that spirit, I'm off for a walk with the devil dog.