What Am I Letting Go?

Considering all the intense feelings around my wedding of late I thought I would type down some of my plans and try to hammer down what I wanted and what I expect and what I hope for.

*the wanted*


Originally I wanted a small wedding. A ceremony with select family and friends amounting to less than 25 people and a reception with a few more friends but still well below 50 people.

The fiance and I were planning on a homey, semi-informal reception with table games, a little dancing, cocoa, coffee, and tea. A pinata throw down between myself and the fiance. No booze, little formality, and not a DJ in sight.

Myself, my sis, bff, Mom, and other gal pals making the cake.

We were planning on an outdoor, morning ceremony with an early afternoon reception so we could catch an evening flight off the continent to some faraway honeymoon spot.

*the expected*


Now we have our morning ceremony planned on grounds where my parents have rented out a slew of cabins with hot tubs and fire rings and room for a buffet, dance floor, and possibly a live band for later in the evening.

The ceremony will have right around 25 people in attendance and the reception at 3ish in the afternoon will add at least 50 more. We'll be having a champagne toast and hiding the beer until darkness falls. Although I wouldn't be shocked to see people drinking at dinner and into the night.

We have table games to be placed at the tables and are compiling a list of songs for our playlist. Pinata death match is planned and I designed a door prize game with cartoon versions of the newlyweds for our guests to vote on.

The core group of ceremony guests will be staying on the grounds the night before and night of the ceremony. The fiance and I were going to be up early Sunday to get to the airport but now it looks like we'll have a relaxed brunch before heading home to Jet City.

*the hoped for*


I hope the whole thing doesn't get to feeling too big for its britches. I detest the forced formality at most weddings. I suppose I get this from my limited experience and TV exposure to weddings where regular down-home folk try to evoke the perceived glory of vaunted celeb and TV weddings.

I hope to avoid awkward social moments as much as possible even though I know that's next to impossible! Even the limited guest list we had in mind during early planning wouldn't guarantee smooth sailing :o)

I think I glorified the small, intimate wedding as being more personal and authentic. I'm afraid that a larger affair will diminish the ... well, the "sacred." It's hard to put in words but something feels strange to me about traditional mucho grande weddings... Like they are less meaningful in some way? At least to me it feels that way.

Hopefully I'll gain insight to that later. I'm sure I'm not the only one but I'm also sure that they feel just right to other people....

Hmpf. Those are some of my thoughts. And now, I shall poop the pooch as he seems to be doing his "gotta go" dance!