Okay-I Screwed Up A Little

I haven't been disciplined in my tapering and (you guessed it) I rushed down to 0 and threw myself under the bus.

Today was so bad I tried popping an anti-nausea pill in addition to drinking tons of water and even that wouldn't settle my system.

So I popped 5 mg of Lexapro.

I have a tendency to beat myself up so I've been battling thoughts of, "you sissy, couldn't you just suck it up and get over this addiction to these meds?" and trying to replace them with nicer thoughts, "just take 5 mg for a week, let your body adjust and then taper some more next week-no biggie!"

With my history of self-abuse it's easy for me to fall back on blaming and belittling myself, but I need to remember that my body is trying to cope with a physical maelstrom and taking it slow isn't being selfish or babying myself, it's being kind and careful.

Yeah. I have a complex about being selfish and babying myself. I'm pretty sure I'm not alone on that one!

Tomorrow I'm going to take the 5 mg right off the bat and hope my system calms down a bit... I could handle bathroom breaks on the hour but this all day nausea is making me miserable! No wonder people give up on tapers!