Side-Tracked

It's been a little bit since my last blog post and I don't really have a reason why.

Sure, I got a little busy. Sure, I had a couple episodes. Maybe it was a combination of not knowing what to say and not feeling worth mentioning.

Feeling worthless is a huge problem for me. I'm so self-punitive and critical that I can feel a physical toll taken on my body even when most doctors would say I'm in pretty good health (aside from the obesity thing, cholesterol, blood pressure-the works are all "good").

All that was reaffirmed Monday when I went to the Foot Zone Therapy appointment.

It was a very soothing, affirming appointment with a lot of energy work and from what I remember, not a whole lot of feet-touching overall! I'm still sad but I felt a confidence boost as many of my feelings and suspicions were confirmed.

Now the difficult task of believing in myself and trying to implement change. It's pretty hard to make something from nothing, and that's how I feel when it comes to creating a sense of self-worth.

I've been wandering around the planet for 24 years now and haven't learned the art of caring for myself.

I'm pretty good at brushing my teeth but when it comes to really caring for myself-about myself I kinda suck. The way I'm seeing things now, maybe all these horrible episodes and depression at this point in my life is forcing me to address how serious my deficient care is and force me to learn something new.

Now I just have undo two decades of training and conditioning and try to shove something completely new into my weak psyche.

Cake!

PS Mmmm cake. *drool*