Friday, March 28, 2014

Anxiety

I've been bombarded by anxiety the past few days and it is wearing on me. Wanna scratch and tear and scream my way out of this somehow but I know that I can't. There is no miracle drug or fairy godmother waiting to cure my addled brain!

Let me describe living conditions inside Hannahville... Tension is prime in the forecast, with occasional jaw grinding and hand-wringing. Fretful humming and whimpering throughout the day and a sugar-binge warning in affect all week. Cloudy thoughts and a stormy brow make for some walloping headaches. Negative thinking and depressive tendencies are bringing self-harm and unsafe feelings to the neighborhood and low self-esteem impedes self-care. 

Generally not a pleasant place to be, but here I am!

Feeling a lot of pressure and expectations (mostly generated in my mind) that are contributing to the anxiety. Whether it's weekend plans with the folks, plans for this summer, my client due next month, or my brother's graduation in May I am worrying about it and feeling incapable. 

Slogging through... Which reminds me, Oso. We donated a little money tonight and it made me realize how little the Oso disaster makes me feel. Not as an individual, but as humans. Just like the Malaysia flight disappearing-so much technology and evolution and yet we are still powerless in so many ways. 


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Be well, HBF