Oh Brain, You Are So Funny!

Had a funny dream this morning after I fell back asleep after trying to wake up.

I was cleaning out my desk and while doing so I was flipping through channels on the TV (not to mention turning the desk lamp on and off and back on for some reason, yet refusing to turn on the overhead light). Anyways, I thought I was in the Netflix browser but it was static cable. I flipped through a few until I found a newsy looking broadcast with ticker news along the bottom and temperatures skimming along the top of the screen. It was a European America's Next Top Model-just kind of off.

The show was broadcast like a news show or gossip news cast and it seemed to have a boot camp vibe with fashionably dressed judges screaming in anorexic models' faces. The models were even shaved bald and at one point had on wigs and chunky knitted sweaters for their fashion show.

Eventually there was a big finale recap of a catwalk and a photo shoot. The outfits involved animal or ethnic themes and lots of fake feathers and fur. One was a huge poncho of white fur that nearly reached the floor while the model wore a headdress with golden poles sticking out from behind her bald head like a preschooler's drawing of the sun. She was kind of a suck-up, saying "It's beautiful" so dramatically you could read her lips while the newscaster's commentary droned on.

Another outfit was eagle themed and involved a painted hand and fake eagle face. That model stretched low to the ground and put her hand out like the eagle was in a dive. Very dramatic. Reminded me of some figure skating routines I've seen! The stuffy news announcer (an older male with dark hair tinged with gray) kept saying "She's out of control."

Lastly there was a male model with a white outfit resembling a suit yet more loose fitting. He was laying a treadmill like belt covered with dirt and leaves to resemble the ground and what appeared to be an albino platypus (?) was laid in front of him. The platypus began to roll around playfully and so the model copied the animal, twisting around and arching his back, then the tread began to move them until they were trundled under a stream of spraying water. Once again, the broadcaster kept saying, "He's out of control." Seemed like he couldn't think of much else to say.

Then the show cut to commercial and there was a CGI ferret walking on it's back paws and nibbling at his front paws (but it was crappy animation and the teeth didn't even touch the front paws just clacked in place) while zooming down a snowy lane. There was some touching music in the background, very Campbell's soup-esque, and the ferret whisked down the lane to some snowy abandoned church. Then there was some informational bullet points about stray animals and hazardous buildings including "abandoned churches, dumpy dumps, trashy trashes" it was ridiculous. I guess the message was keep your ferrets inside and feed them Eukanuba.

So, mind your ferrets!