Sunday, April 19, 2015


I need to vent. While I'm embarrassed and it feels very unnatural and stupid I'm compelled to try it and see if it helps me feel a bit better.

So here are some things that I've been angry about of late:

A) ... I can't. I can't do it.

I can't rant and rage when anger is just a symptom.

I'm tired, I'm anxious, I feel lonely, devalued and abandoned-and I'm angry out of frustration and depleted resiliency. 

Instead of venting I'm more interested in resolving the core issue, feeling stronger and more secure... When I focus on my family, the hubster and Baby, and turn away from my first family, the public, and whatever other stressors creep in from outside, I feel better. I feel more confident, valued, and loved. I feel more calm. It's not without drama and stress, attempting to be insulated like this, but it's certainly easier to cope with than carrying the stress of "what ifs" and worrying about things that are out of my hands.

On a related note I've been stress and comfort eating lots of sweets. Don't feel too good about it and wanting to eat better, which is also linked to feeling better about myself. If I feel worthless I eat worthless foods!

Just keep swimming kinda days lately...

1 comment:

  1. I think you should vent! It is a release, like crying.


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Be well, HBF