Well, he ain't no baby no more! We're talking about a 9 year old, folks. He's got his own sass and style and already hates homework and wants a job so he can "do something useful" and make money. We have him in an accelerated learning program in school and he's doing enrichment work outside of school to stay on top of math and reading skills. He's a whiz, but he doesn't always feel that way. He loves LEGO, Pokémon, and goofy TV shows.
He's also got some struggles and we're trying to learn more about how he's wired, so he's going to have an assessment for autism and anxiety in September. He's already been diagnosed with ADHD and has meds and accommodations at school for that. I've heard from some that "we're all atypical somehow" and that diagnoses don't matter, but for us it seems like it might help better understand and assist BB in learning life skills.
We realize that he's a borderline case. Perhaps subclinical. That said, autism keeps coming up in conversations around BB. Whether it was work friends, caregivers, near-strangers, family, or just the hubs and myself-it keeps on coming up. So we're addressing it. Hell, maybe it's anxiety or just ADHD being more extreme than we think, but we hope to find out for sure.
The meltdowns and gut issues, some issues with social cues and struggles with transitions are some of the red flags for us. Some of those can also be related to ADHD, including his hyperfocus (good and bad sometimes).
So. That's where we're at. Just considering another diagnosis for BB has made me even more patient and helped me be more understanding. It's tough to stick to routines (it made up a huge chunk of my extended visit to WA state this year), but it's worth it. I'm reading about autism and learning already. I think it's helped me parent BB better regardless of what the doc says.
Side note/separate update: BB is having the time of his life with our two cats. I'm so glad we brought them into the family and enjoy them myself, but they are the hubs's and BB's cats for sure. The black and white bonded to Hubster from the get-go, and the silver is BB's soul mate.
My sons had problems going through the traditional education system and had ADHD and Autism diagnoses. The labels didn't change who they were, but gave us focus on where to look to find ways to help them maneuver through a world that wasn't always friendly to them. Early adaptions were useful, and I'm happy to report that they are kind, responsible, hard-working, content adults today. It took a while, but they employ many of the strategies we helped teach them as youth to be successful today. There were tears and frustrations along the way, but it all turned out well. I wish you luck as you have the rewarding experience of raising BB.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing this. That is my hope with seeking these answers-those strategies and tools are so important.
DeleteI do hope you get some answers. Learning is always good and I suspect that parenting is a work in progress. Permanently. Love those cats. And yes, they do decide who they are going to bond with - regardless of who feeds/ministers to them.
ReplyDeleteSo true! A constant learning experience and work in progress. And yes, those cats do pick their people!
Delete