Today I switched things up and instead of going to the gym this morning I did some cross stitching and then went downtown to donate blood. Only after I left the condo did I realize that I wasn't quite sure where I was going. It had been so long since I donated and I've had so much ECT that my memory of the route was very sketchy.
Luckily we had happened to drive by the blood center last weekend so I had a teeny recent memory to cling to and found my way there with only mild anxiety issues! Even more marvelous, my iron was high enough to donate *booyeah* so all the water I drank this morning came in handy and my donation was pretty dang efficient.
Last night I managed to finally fill out a volunteer application for the blood center and this weekend I will hand out reference forms to some family friends to get that process moving. It's been months and months that I've been talking about volunteering there and I'm finally feeling up to it. Though I'm not feeling 100%, I have to admit that improvements have been made and this application is evidence!
I think I'm in an awkward transition between sickness and wellness... I've been sick for so long that I'm overly aware of my illness and it's challenging to maintain a healthy mindset. I'm certainly trying but I'm definitely aware of a tendency to think of myself as weak and sick instead of healthy and capable. It makes things like a volunteer application tougher to dive into and makes things feel more challenging than they otherwise might feel but I'm aware of the mindset and I'm hoping to make changes (on top of so many changes!).
I'm doing what I can and beating myself up for not being totally healed and 100% better isn't going to get me anywhere! I've made progress and I can make even more progress, little by little.
I hope everyone has a great weekend and is doing well :o)