Monday, May 4, 2015


Sunday I had some anger flares. Smoker outside apartment was smoking where he wasnt supposed to and it pissed me off. Tried some loving-kindness/gratitude exercises but failed. Ya know yer gratitude exercise aint working when youre thankful for supposed precancerous cells in a smokers body...

Later that night I had a flare up after some logistic fumbles related to bottle feeding Baby some breastmilk. Lots of cursing and a seething, clenching physical reaction along with a wrist banging impulse. Took me by surprise. I think sleep deprivation had something to do with it!

Today was a boring therapy day. Ive been working on moving past the drama with my sister so there wasnt an elephant in the room to get things rolling. Still, it was nice just to chat. Reminded of my brothers' news and his plans to relocate to a different state if he doesnt find the work he needs. Im proud of him for taking charge of his and not being satisfied with possibly falling back on Mom and Dad, he really wants to make his own life happen now and its great for him.

After therapy I came home and chilled for a bit, watched some Louie and browsed the kitchen for food before meeting up with my ornaments boss for a walk. It was eerily similar to walking with my mom-a lot of listening while she talked about her perspectives and life but thats what I expected so it was okay. I didnt expect her to walk so freakin fast though. I was sweating! Kind of inconsiderate setting such a pace when Im 2 months postpartum but I dont hurt and it was good to work a bit harder.

The hubbo is fed up with his idiot boss. I hope he finds some place better and changes employers soon :'(

Iroh's hips are worse but he's still chuggin along...

Oh. My boobs are being a pain, oversupply sucks and hurts but hoping Im on the right path with block feeding and minor pumping.... TBD.

Now to try and sleep, I think I missed my opportunity to fall asleep easily and now Im paying for it!

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Be well, HBF