Monday, April 11, 2016

I is for Intimacy #atozchallenge

This post is part of my first year doing the A to Z Challenge and I happen to be writing under the theme Gratitude: The Things That Keep Me Alive. This is a relevant theme for me as I am struggling with postpartum depression, and also have diagnosed anxiety and bipolar II (just to let you know what's going on with me-it might be pertinent as you read the post below). Thank you for stopping by and reading my post!

I is for intimacy because intimacy, for me, is a vital part of a life worth living and an essential part of my recovery and maintained wellness.

Intimacy is defined in a variety of ways but for my purposes I'm referring to the  definitions that include: a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group; the quality of being comfortable, warm, or familiar; an act of expression serving as a token of familiarity, affection or the like; an amorously familiar act; sex.

What in my life fits that bill? Well, sex is pretty obvious. It is what it is (and thankfully the hubbo and I aren't having problems in that department! we have enough challenges methinks!). Those other types of intimacy take some translating, some scouting, some sussing out on occasion to really appreciate and recognize.

Take for instance the simple act of eye contact shared with my husband during an emotional, upsetting moment this weekend when I was crying and out of sorts; his hand on my thigh as we are driving down the freeway; playing catch with my sister and listening to her birth story and sharing my insights (I'm a trained birth doula); even bringing someone a cup of water without a request having been made are all examples of intimacy. 

Playing cards can be an intimate act that is validating and distracting and soothing. Hiking or going for a walk and sweating my ass butt off and getting all grody with someone is intimate (to me) as is sharing how I'm really feeling or shedding tears in front of someone and having them acknowledge my feelings or tears. 

Of course, many of my favorite intimate moments are shared with my husband (that's a big part of why he's the hubster, after all) and many of those are private and not meant to be shared BUT I will share this story with you...

It was late, say 10:30 or 11:00 at night, Baby Bananaface had been asleep for a couple hours and the hubs and I had watched our couple episodes of "Burn Notice" and hopped into bed only to realize that I hadn't taken my evening medication (big no-no for someone with BPD). With my particular medicine I need to eat about 300 calories when I take it to make sure that it absorbs properly. Well, I haven't been particularly interested in food so getting me to eat is a bit of challenge; especially after I've brushed my teeth and already been snuggled into bed ready to sleep!

As I'm consuming random bits of food after taking my pill I see the hubbo suddenly lurching around kicking as high as he can into the air followed by stifled groaning and "shaking it off" and rubbing and flexing his inner thigh/hip. I asked what he was doing and he said he was trying to do a "kick like Michael does in the show."

Next thing you know, I'm attempting a roundhouse kick and nearly launching my hubby into the pantry as I make *surprising* contact with his chest as I whirl around. He lost his balance, I wobbled around like a rhino on two legs and we ended up clonking heads, tickling each other, giggling and squealing as quietly as we could as we regained our composure. 

I had teased him just before my stunt about "obviously didn't learn how to do a roundhouse kick when you were younger" and he asked, after his attack, "Where did you learn to do a roundhouse kick?! Were you a Girl Scout?" 

I laughed heartily and replied, "A) No. I was not a Girl Scout. B) Do they even teach roundhouse kicks in Girl Scouts?" 

Guess we have a conversation starter next time we go in for some Thin Mints....

Anybody have a favorite "intimacy" story they'd like to share? A moment with a total stranger or a moment with a close loved one?


  1. Itimacy for me is when two people can spend an evening not talking, and perfectly comfortable in each other's presence. And be equally comfortable talking up a storm. Love your roundhouse kick story.

    1. Thanks, you are so right about not talking and then talking up a storm and both being comfortable. Love that :o)

  2. You are right, there are so many different ways to be intimate with one another. Just spending time together and being comfortable not even saying much is one way I enjoy intimacy.


  3. Hahaha! You two are adorable ♥ The most amazing man in the world and I have many, many such moments, a lot of them very silly but others very soul soothing. We can read each other like a book. One of my favourite memories was when we were in the beginning stages of dating (maybe third or fourth date) when he unzipped his favourite (and only) leather jacket, pulled me in and wrapped his jacket and arms around me. The jacket was stretched more than it should have been and it was never quite the same after that. He did it because I was cold as we stood on a mountain overlooking the city, watching the stars, and he wanted to keep me warm, so we can continue to enjoy that moment. I knew right there and then that he was a keeper. *sigh*

    1. Awwwwww :o) That is adorable! I have lots of "he's a keeper" memories of the hubs... not sure what my favorite is <3

  4. Sounds like you guys have a bit of fun together. Very cool.


Thank you for reading and commenting!

Be well, HBF