Had a good talk with my nurse and while I still feel low she gave me some hope. Maybe I am just working through some stuff and it's upsetting not necessarily just suicidal just overwhelming, and thinking like that is much more... palatable than diving right to "I just wanna die again." I have a lot going on. It's okay to feel overwhelmed and feel a lot. Gonna try to resist the suicidal thoughts more effectively tonight and tomorrow.... Today's journey to the bottom of the Hannah was enough darkness!
Trudging forward again.