Tuesday, March 8, 2016


I feel like shit. I feel like shit and the backs of my hands are green with bruises from that idiot anesthesiologist and my head is hurting and I feel sad because I'm not feeling better despite being fried for I don't know how many weeks. I'm over it.

Thinking about ECT and what I am going through boggles my brain... looking at the bruises and holes in my arms and feeling my head throb and thinking about all the resources getting me to and from the hospital twice a week all because of my broken brain and for so many weeks---so many weeks, so much pain, so many pokes, so many pills and I still feel like crap. I sure hope that the DBT therapy helps (I started seeing a new therapist yesterday and I start a new group therapy tomorrow).

My memory has been terrible lately because of the ECT... ugh.


On a separate note but also related to my personal annoyance, my period finally started (relief) but good grief I guess holding it in for a few extra days made for an extra saucy menses. As if I need anything else bugging me!




PS The hubs and I started re-watching Burn Notice since we finished watching The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. for the second time..... that's enjoyable at least :)



  1. What is it about doctors and 'finding a vein'. A self-respecting junkie does a better job. Which I said when my partner's arms and legs were black on one of his hospital stays. My comment was not received well by the medicos, but applauded by my partner and everyone else in the room.
    I am so very sorry that recovery is so bloody slow. Too bloody slow.

    1. Seriously! Poking veins is their bread and butter, shouldn't they be a bit better at it?! I'm envious of your comment, I wouldn't have the guts to make it but would love to see the lady who jabbed me badly's face at such words!

      And yes. Too bloody slow. Thank you.

      Thank you, thank you, thank you.

  2. I am sorry, lovely Hannah...Hugs!

    1. Thank you! I appreciated it :)

  3. I'm so sorry, Hannah. I hope today is much better for you. Here's a hug. A BIG one. 'Cause sometimes we need one of those.

  4. I'm so sorry, girl. This is not easy. Glad you have the blog to come to and we'll be here to support you along the way.


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Be well, HBF